A Little Thursday

I have no idea what parallel universe I was in today, but every single time I turned around, a different tiny little man was standing behind me. Like under 5 feet. Was really bizarre.

Annnnnywho, today's topic is...

What five passions do you have?
If I say wine, does this make me look bad?

1. Making Attempting to make pretty things. Have recently got back into drawing and painting, and our apartment is slowing starting to fill up with the results of Sunday afternoons spent listening to Christmas music and painting with Peej in the kitchen. Enormously relaxing, and with something to show for it at the end. 
2. Food. I think it's fairly safe to say that my lack of funds is the only thing standing in the way of me being a gazillion pounds, and my lack of time from me being a first rate chef (well, maybe that's a bit of a stretch). Cooking it, eating it, talking to Steph about it for hours on end, reading about it, it's all good.
3. Books. Usually at a rate of 2 or 3 a week. Thank goodness for Kindle and it's top 100 free. (Also, this website: Hundred Zeros. In fact, just found 3 new ones there now.) 
4. Containers. This sounds incredibly bizarre, but I think Peej would tell you there is not really a better way to describe it. Everything needs to be in its own box or basket or jar or folder. It's insanely OCD, but it makes me happy seeing how organized my underwear drawer is. 
5. Running.*

*ha. no. 

Lucky No. 7

Another cold and blustery day. Sleepy from watching election results with my fellow Americans, but full of good cheer at the results (Gobama!) and slightly amused by the Czech reaction to it - lots of excitement on the trams and trains this morning.

Today's topic is...

What is your dream job, and why?
Does retirement count?

• Owning a pottery painting studio. Prague's version of Color Me Mine, but way cooler, here in Letna. My copy of Business Plans for Dummies and my Golden Hands notebook are getting quite the workout. Possibly the only good thing to come out of me and Shan's doomed trip to Kutna Hora, I want to do this because I can think of nothing better than spending my day making fabulous things and helping other people to do it too. This feeds both my creative needs and my love of being in control. It's uber relaxing and highly marketable, and it means I'd never need to teach the past perfect continuous ever again.
• Restaurant critic. Because if financially able, I would be a gazillion pounds due to gorging myself on every delectable menu item at each restaurant in the land. Eat and give an opinion? Piece of cake.
• Professional organizer. Because then I could buy as many containers as my little heart desired, and write them off as a business expense. 
• IKEA furniture putter-togetherer. It's legit.
• BBC News Anchor. So I can use my ridiculous newscaster accent and make everything sound extremely dramatic. Paul John got to hear it during last night's election coverage, and this just in... he digs it. His newscaster voice sounds like Hyacinth Bucket.
• Leader of the free world, because, obviously. 

Reporting live from the BBC Central European desk, Paul John. 

Bummer of a Sixth

Today's topic is a doozy...

What is the hardest thing you've ever experienced?

Yowza.

I think I have been pretty lucky. Aside from a few bumps along the way, things are generally footloose and fancy-free. Plus, those of you who know me know I am generally not a big talker about emotional things (until we're having a little porch party and I'm a couple glasses of wine in, but that's only in front of a select few of you!), so this is gonna be strange.

I can't really pinpoint the moment when I started to feel like everything was just not right. On paper, things looked fine - a decent job, a nice apartment, a fantastic group of friends, and a guy that I was planning my life with. But there was a little something that was trying to tell me this isn't right.

I felt completely hopeless. Completely stuck. Completely frustrated. What the hell was I doing? Was this it? I was so unhappy, and I hated the person I was turning into, but I didn't know what to do about it. Looking for a different job was miserable as I had no idea what I wanted to do and nothing looked remotely appealing, and I couldn't stand the thought of staying in the suburbs or moving to the city and where does that leave you? Planning for a future was equally miserable, as it was so dependent on work and I just didn't want to think about it. Going back to school seemed daunting for the same reason. It all came down to WTF am I meant to be doing? I don't think I can articulate how totally depressed I was. I cannot ever remember feeling so miserable and so hopeless and so stuck for so long.

So in typical fashion, it was time for rash decisions and big changes. Move out, break up, quit. Excellent. Except now I'm single, unemployed, and living with my parents at 25. Not the worst thing in the world, but hardly sustainable.

My students always ask me, "Why Prague?" I usually tell them something like "Ohhhhhh, my friend from high school told me it was a great idea/the job market in the US is terrible/I've always wanted to live in Europe/I really like beer/I love teaching (ha! no one buys that, I've stopped trying to sell it)/drugs." I find these are much easier answers to explain that "I was running away."

Because that's what it was. I needed a total escape, from everything. I love home. I love the people, the places, everything that New Jersey is. But I needed to get away from it, desperately.

Getting on that plane was the hardest thing I have ever done. Saying goodbye to everyone broke my heart. I still cry when I think about home, or hear a song that reminds me of driving around blasting it and singing at the top of our lungs, or if I see a boston terrier in the park, or have something super important to tell someone but everyone's six hours behind, but I also feel free. I posted yesterday about how happy I am, and it's true. Coming to Prague has let me leave behind so much baggage, so much drama, so much frustration.

It means the world to me that my family continues to support me, and my friends are still the loves of my life, even if it's weeks since we last spoke. I love that halfway around the world, I still have Peej here as a little piece of home, so when we're sad we can commiserate together about how much we miss taylor ham and bagels. The day I left, Lili gave me a letter which said "I don't know how long you plan on spending in Prague, but I hope you find what you're looking for. Clearly, life doesn't go according to plan but I think you will have lots of fun there and realize what you want to do with your life." (so wise, that young one) There are definitely days when I still think to myself whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat is happening, what am I supposed to be doing?! But I feel much better about those days now.

Okay, that's enough emotions for one day. Hope tomorrow is something a bit more cheerful!

And so, I will leave you with this:

And because I want to be super cheerful, I also find these amusing...

Now, stop reading and go vote.

Gunpowder, treason and plot

Hope you're all huddled around a bonfire tonight. If you're British, do it for Guy. If you're Jersey, do it because you probably still have no heat.

Today's topic is...

What are the five things that make you the most happy right now?
But there are so many things!!!

1. That there are only 36 days until I get to go back to Jersey. I cannot wait to see everyone, indulge in some deliciousness at the diner, watch some Food Network, have free water with my restaurant meals, slurp down a giant Dunkin coffee, snuggle with Tuck, go see all of the cheesey wonderful Christmas things like the Ice Caverns at Fairfield Garden Center, take limitless hot showers, have a Prague reunion in DC, ring in the New Year and have a holly jolly Christmas. And I'm even more excited that I get to show off why NJ is so freakin' awesome to Donut. I know he will fall madly in love with it too!
2. That Thanksgiving is right around the corner! Love that our little trio of Americans are holding the tradition together and hosting a (somewhat) typical Thanksgiving meal for 30, count 'em, thirty of our nearest and dearest here in Prague. This means lists and baking and cooking and slight panicking about where all these people are going to fit in our apartment, but I'm excited!
3. Mint tea. It's now replaced blood in my system.
4. My excellent nurse. I'm constantly reminded what a lucky lady I am, and while I question Donut's taste in snacks, at least this means we will never fight over the last Margot bar (allllllllllll yours babe!). 
5. All of you people who take up so much room in my heart. I am so so so so so blessed to have such an amazing family, an fantastic group of friends scattered throughout the world, and a wonderful man who gets to hear constantly how fabulous the rest of them are. 

I could easily go on and on and on about the things that make me happy (maybe that will be for December). I can honestly say that while it can be rough being so far from so much that I love, no a day goes by where I don't stop and think "Holy crap, this life is amazing." And that is pretty damn fabulous. 

via Chase This Light

Day Four

Ten Things You'd Tell Your 16 Year Old Self...

1. All the jobs will be in IT. Study that, even though it's boring and you more often than not want to throw your computer out the window. It will be worth it when you have a good job with a decent salary and benefits and all those nice things that regular adults are meant to have.
2. You're never too young for eye cream. The best defense is a good offense. 
3. Don't stop using your French and Spanish. It's a valuable skill that not a lot of people have, so don't waste it.
4. Get off your butt. It will be a lot easier to cultivate a love of exercise when you're young and energetic enough to enjoy it, rather than when it seems like a punishment for one five too many beers or chocolate bars this week.
5. Travel early. Get out of the suburbs. See the world, and then decide where you're meant to be. But do it while you're young.
6. Your years of dancing til dawn and bouncing back within a few hours are numbered. Enjoy them while they last.
7. Learn to stand up for yourself and what you want and don't want. It's okay to say no, it doesn't make you a bitch or a bad friend or a bad colleague or a bad employee or any of the other things you think it will. It will, however, make you much less stressed. (This won't, however, be easy!)
8. Force yourself to try new things. You're going to end up loving olives after all.
9. Make time for hobbies. 
10. Learn how to make small talk and put yourself out there. Network, make new friends, and introduce yourself to as many people as possible. You never know who is going to impact you how, you just have to put yourself out there.

Annnnnnd there you have it. Now, if you'll excuse me, a bag of Skittles and an episode of Rome are awaiting me!

remember, remember, it's finally November

There are many posts that I meant to write... Shannon and me's misadventures in Kutna Hora (lesson of the day - always follow the crowd), Donut and me exploring DesignBlock and the World Press Photo Exhibit, mushroom hunting and Karlstejn and the Alfons Mucha Epic at the National Gallery, but I have been lazy. Bottom line, it's just laziness.

But I had been waiting for November so that I could do this. Because November has 30 days, so this works out quite nicely. I thought it would be a good way to force me into writing every day, which would in turn make it more natural to write more often.

Those were my intentions.

But the reality is that November 1st kicked off with a nonstop lonnnnng work day followed by a Pink Crocodile event, and November 2nd was jam packed full of a nasty migraine and a trip to the always lovely Prague emergency room, and now its 5pm on November 3rd, I am still camped out on Donut's couch trying to banish what's left of what shall now be known as the world's longest headache, and I have three days of the challenge to get caught up on. Sooooo, here goes.

Day One: List 20 Random Facts About Yourself
This is way hard.

1. More often than not, the voice in my head speaks with a British accent. It's like Bridget Jones is narrating my life. This is probably because I read the book about once a year, and have for since 1996. 
2. I hate pumpkin flavored things. In fact, all members of the squash family trigger an automatic gag reflex, so when September rolls around and everyone goes berserk for pumpkin lattes and pumpkin nutella muffins and pumpkin soup and pumpkin stuff browned butter ravoli, I want to throw up a little.
3. When I was little, I used to wish that I could sing instead of be smart. I often still think this, though the lack of a voice does not seem to diminish my lyrical performances (unfortunately for my roommates). 
4. I'm allergic to nail polish.
5. My favorite number is seven. 
6. It drives me insane that people assume my name is Lauren. I don't understand why people can't process more than one syllable and just shut their ears off after hearing "Laur".
7. When our internet was out a few weeks ago and I'd finished all the books on my Kindle, I started ready Grimm's Fairy Tales. I had to stop. Because they gave me nightmares. I'm 27.
8. I love to cook and bake, but there is one thing I absolutely cannot seem to make correctly. Steph knows this. It's cupcakes. They're my culinary nemesis. 
9. I am a terrible photographer. I'd like to blame the camera, but I'm pretty sure having a fancy one wouldn't make a lick of difference.
10. Questions such as "What's your favorite book?" or "What's your favorite movie?" always make me panic. I would love to say something impressive, like War Peace, and some impressive, artsy, directorially genius film, but the truth is that my favorite book is Bridget Jones' Diary and my favorite movie is Love Actually, because they make me happy. So hmph.
11. When I was a kid, I used to break out in a rash when I ate too much ham. This was unfortunate, as I loved ham and would sneak pieces of it all day from the fridge whenever we went to visit grandma. I would always get caught. Guess how? Luckily, now that I live in the land of all things pork, this seems to be something I've grown out of.
12. I think most of my friends would agree that I am generally quite laid back and patient and seem to like everyone and that's true. But once I decide I don't like you, I can't stand you. It's very rare, and it annoys me that I do it, but it happens. Sorry, I'm not sorry
13. I'm pretty sure my iPod playlist resembles that of a 13 year old girl's. There's an embarrassingly large number of One Direction songs on it...
14. My favorite drink is an old-fashioned. Makes me feel like Joan Harris from Mad Men. Fierce.
15. Finding out my name day is June 1st was probably the greatest news a December baby could hear. 
16. I am a stickler for the rules. I'm terrified of getting in trouble, going where I'm not supposed to, or doing something I shouldn't. I've never stolen so much as a pack of gum. This is why I am often so reluctant to go along with Steph's schemes... but we always have fun so I'm eternally grateful to her for making me not be such a stick in the mud.
17. I'm gracefully awkward. I believe this poor relationship with gravity is due to a severe case of swimmer's ear on my 21st birthday. That, or my alcohol intake increased dramatically and that has something to do with it...
18. This list has taken an embarrassingly long amount of time.
19. I still have my belly button ring in. It's the only thing that gives me an innie. It's been almost half my life and I feel naked without it, even if it is incredibly tacky. One day, I'll make the leap, but not today.
20. Running away to Prague was the scariest, craziest, hardest thing I've ever done. And while I miss everyone from home so much every single day, it was also the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am a much happier, healthier, and saner person that I was when I got here. Must be the beer ;)

Day Two: List Three Legitimate Fears You Have and Explain How They Became Fears

I'm pretty sure they are referring to something serious, like "I'm afraid I'll be alone because I was once lost at the mall for two hours" or something, not what's listed here...

1. Birds. Awful creatures. I'm pretty sure it started after getting pecked by a Canadian Goose at Waterloo Village. This was followed by pigeons in Trafalgar Square, an owl at some country festival in England, and being chased down and nearly pecked in the head by an ostrich at 6 Flags. It's like they know. However, despite the fact that they scare the bejesus out of me and send my blood pressure sky high as my heart pounds away, I do love stylized bird decorations for the home and on jewelry. Go figure.
2. Skiing. One fateful day, when I was 12, we were on some boy scout ski trip with my brother. It was late in the season and everything was icy. I did decently in my lesson, but froze on the ski slope and didn't want to get off. What followed was a graceless thump as my body hit a snow drift. Once I got going, I made it about a quarter of the way down the ski slope before someone hit me in perhaps one of the most horrific hit-and-run accidents known to Great Gorge, NJ. One ski pops off and hits me in the stomach, and the other whacks me in the head, knocking me out as I start rolling down the hill in what seemed to me at the time to be like in a cartoon. My teeth chomp through my lips, and my ski pole whips from my right hand, across my nose, and slices 1/8th of an inch underneath my eye. When I come around, spitting out a mouthful of my own blood, there's my mom, telling me to go hike back up the hill, collect my runaway skis, and walk down the mountain. Toddlers were laughing at me. This was, after all, the bunny slope. I go to first aid, looking like a patient in an Outbreak-esque film, with mascara and blood running from my eyes, a mangled mouth and a swollen nose. Therefore, I simply do not see the appeal of hurtling down the side of a mountain strapped to two skinny pieces of wood (fiberglass?) with sticks that will blind you whilst it's freezing cold out. You can find me in the lodge, or the hot tub, with a spike mug of hot chocolate. That's infinitely more enjoyable than a death ride down massacre mountain. 
3. Mice. Anyone who was ever in our Morristown apartment slum knows why.

Day Three: Describe Your Relationship with Your Parents

I am incredibly lucky to have such amazing parents who have always supported me, trusted me to do what's best for myself, and been there to help as much as I needed. I certainly have tested that plenty of times over the years, but I couldn't ask for better parents, and I love and miss them both terribly. I could ask that they fly over and visit more often though! :)

Phew, that's a lot of writing. To everyone in NJ, I'm thinking of you. Hope your power is back soon, your homes are okay, and that your families are safe.

If you would like to help those whose lives were impacted by Hurricane Sandy, there are numerous relief efforts available. Red Cross has donation options available via text message and iTunes, and a quick Google search for Hurricane Sandy Relief can provide you with more specific local needs.

Ahoj!

Obligatory It's Been So Long, I'm So Sorry statement. 

Now that that's out of the way, on to better things.

I cannot believe it's taken nearly a month to write this, but in September I got to go on, thanks to Donut, one of the coolest vacations of my life - a week of sailing around the islands of Croatia.

Off I went, armed with way too many clothes, no real idea of what we were doing, and enough sea sickness medication to supply a navy. First stop on this trip, however, was a company party at which Donut's band was playing. We turn off what I would already consider to be a side road, and start making our way down a dirt road into the woods. Due partly, I believe, to a long conversation with Steph and Steve about the various ways our partners could bump us off and make it look accidental, I started to worry a little that this was it. Donut was taking me into the deep woods, where some terrible fate would befall me and I would be left as an appetizer for wild boars. No one would look for me, because everyone would think that I was on some fabulous yacht in the Adriatic with no cell phone reception. And by the time they did look, nothing would be left (due to the boars). The perfect crime. (I think it's fairly obvious why Law & Order isn't knocking down my door asking me to ghostwrite any episodes.)

This, of course, is ridiculous. Donut has never been anything less than wonderful, and it's much more likely that I would have been offed being trampled to death by one of his drunk colleagues moshing around the cabin we finally ended up at than being eaten by wild pigs. So after an hour or so of being bumped and groped by some very intoxicated IT guys, we were on our merry way. Still alive.

After an incredibly long car ride, in which I'm sorry to say I was the worst co-captain ever as all I did was sleep and hog the back seat, we arrived in Split. It was hot, it was sunny, it was fabulous!

Donut playing with his new toy.

Boats, boats, boats!

From Split, we headed off for a trip around the islands. Here's a general idea of the route:

Highlights include...

• Seafood!!! Living in a landlocked country sucks sometimes, mostly because I had gotten too used to a pescetarian type of diet (okay, with plenty of taylor ham and chicken fingers thrown in) in NJ, so it's been a bit of an adjustment. However, a week where I could gorge on calamari and clams and mussels and fish and langoustine was fantastic! nomnomnom
• The sunshine! Perfect weather every single day, except for a midnight storm where the rain dripped through our cabin window imitating something akin to Chinese water torture.
• Ocean! Perfect temp for swimming. Very salty. Full of fishies.
• The company! Everyone was really lovely and I had a blast with them, even though we could not understand each other, and I'm afraid any Czech I did pick up is largely inappropriate. ;)
• The sites! It seemed like everywhere we stopped was more beautiful than the next. Here's some...

The adorable little town of Vrborska

 The Blue Cave! Like a smurf!

 Komiza, Vis

 Komiza, Vis

 Ahoj Hvar! How crazy is that view!

 So nice, you have to see it twice!

Donut and I, having hiked up to the castle. And then me in prison. Womp womp.

Split - this city is crazy. Marble streets! What?!?

• Doing super fun things, like hoisting myself up to the top of that sail. 

That little blob at the top of the mast is moi. 

• Being on the type of vacation where every couple minutes you think, "Woah. I'm doing this. I will never forget this." So Donut, thank you again for giving me such an amazing experience. xx
• No seasickness! 
• A tan. Thank goodness, was looking a bit ill before we left. 
• The showers at Split Marina. Okay, I know this sounds ridiculous. But after living in an apartment with approximately 7 minutes of hot water, and then a week on a boat showering with a handheld spout while simultaneously straddling the toilet and slamming elbows into the walls, I cannot tell you how amazingly luxurious it was to have unlimited hot water. It's been years since I've gotten to enjoy a 20 minute shower, and I was going to take advantage of every possible second. So I did. :)

Low Points:

• Not catching this giant tuna. In our defense, we thought it was a shark who seemed very uninterested in our hot dogs anyway, and I'm not sure how we would have captured it short of jumping overboard and wrestling it. Still, when I think of all that sashimi, I cry a little.

• The wine. Bleh. Not impressed.
• Despite not actually getting seasick, it was a pretty close call one day. After the storm, the waves were intense, and I was in my life jacket clinging to whatever I could grab for dear life, trying to stay on the ship, keep my eyes on the horizon, and not throw up and die for the whole morning. It may have been one of the worst feelings of all time. 

Here you can observe me keeping my mouth shut and my eyes on the distance, focusing very hard on not dying.

• Feeling a bit useless. Not a new feeling - quite common here actually. Want to scream and say I can do things! I'm not this hopeless! I just can't understand what you want me to do! But mostly, I got over that and went back to reading and working on my tan. :)
• That it ended. Booooooooo, permanent vacations totally need to be a thing. 

Thanks again xx

Next up is the misadventures of Shannon and myself as we try to see historic, important things, and a weekend of culture in Prague. But for now, I've got other things to do, like 240356728392 hours of videos to watch for this Intro to Ops Management course that Donut and I signed up for through www.coursera.org. And trying to remind myself why I signed up for it in the first place! (Just kidding. It's very good for personal growth and looks lovely on a resume, and all mature, responsible adult things like that. But homework blows.)