Thursday, November 15, 2012


The sunshine's brief appearance has passed, and we are in the midst of another grey, cold, foggy day (with snow, if you're lucky enough to be in the 'burbs, as I was first thing this morning). Had a midday cancellation, which means I forget how to tell time, show up 50 minutes early for my next class, and am now killing time eating a grey Caeser salad at KFC (now I understand why you get such a giant dressing packet, it's to mask the flavor of dead lettuce), sharing a verrrrrrrry tiny table with an ancient man who is carting around a bag full of keyboards and sneaking suspicious glances at me every time he gets up, as if I might do a runner with his pile of junk.

Thanks for all of your feedback about Agog in Prague - it means a lot! I'm glad I can entertain, or at the very least give you something to do when you really should be doing something else much more important.

Luckily today's topic is a quick one, easy to type out while shoveling this graveyard bowl of greens into my mouth.

If you were an animal, which would you be and why?
Is this a job interview? If so, I can start immediately.

My usual answer is a monkey - social and clever (I can use tools!), and I really like bananas.

However, I have consulted this website: Animal in You for a professional opinion.

It keeps telling me I am a wild cat. This is the explanation given:

"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." ~Mark Twain

Wildcat personalities do not differ substantially from their domestic cousins and exhibit the aloof behavior that is common to all felines. I am quite aloof. With their well-deserved reputations as creatures of comfort, wildcats jealously guard their independence while indulging in the finer things in life. So... I'm bougie. But we already knew that. Attractive, solitary, creative and curious, these individuals are quite happy to observe the world from a distance.

The wildcat would never take a conventional route and prefers to explore life from off the beaten track, relying heavily on its instincts and powers of observation to guide it safely through the jungle. Its air of indifference and need for privacy keeps it on the outskirts of society, but its love for comfort always brings it back. Who am I, Henry Thoreau? Outskirts? I don't think so. 

Exceptional personal hygiene is a hallmark of the wildcat personality, and from their hair to their fingernails they are immaculately groomed. Well, on a good day. Shopping for clothing or personal-care items spices up long, dreary days. I think that's just called being a female.

When someone wrongs a wildcat, they make it their business to even the score. Displaying superb patience, wildcats will even wait years for the right moment. When the occasion comes to strike, they gather all their force and attack. In the face of a ferocious display of hissing and blustering, their surprised victim has little chance of escape. I love it, makes me sound like Emily from Revenge. Don't really think this is the case though - who has that kind of energy? 

The wildcat differs from its lion relatives in its approach to its social structure. With an aversion to the complex family organization of the lion, the wildcat finds freedom and self-indulgence to be far more compelling. As a natural explorer it disdains staying in one place for long, preferring the freedom of solitary roaming in exotic locales. This wanderlust makes it ideal for a career as a travel agent, explorer, mountain climber, researcher or writer. Can someone even be an explorer these days? What's left? And if I was a mountain climber, it would be a short lived career. I'd be a splat on the ground ten feet up my first attempt. 

Although wildcats are uncomfortable performing in front of large groups, their grace and lithe bodies make them natural dancers or gymnasts. Haaaa. If tipsy SYTYCD sessions in my living room have taught me anything, it's that I am neither a gymnast nor a dancer. 

Well guys, there you go. It's science, so you can't really dispute it. 

I'm pretty sure most of my dancing looks like this guy's:

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